Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
