There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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