Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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