Can Purell be used as lube?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
