I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
