I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
