That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
