doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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