I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
