we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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