we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize