Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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