Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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