god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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