Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
