I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize