is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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