Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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