I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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