He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
