Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
