had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
