This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
