"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
