Moan for me like Helen Keller
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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