I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
