Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
