clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
