i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
