My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
honey bunches of taint.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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