Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
