Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
