im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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