i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Come share oat with me in your robe
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
