dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
