I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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