Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
