Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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