; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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