Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
