physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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