you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
