so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
