yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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