just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
