Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
