My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
