Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
