I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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