Where is the hickey?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize
