Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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