Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
