White coat. Heels.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
