If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
