At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
