If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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