We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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