i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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