How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
