i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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