Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize