just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
