Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
