I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
