is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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