that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
