I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
