Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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