I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
