i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
