I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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