God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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