I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
