I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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