What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
