i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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