We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He passed out mid-signature
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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