I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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