People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
