He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
