Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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