Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize