why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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