is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
